Major issues with a child happen due to emotional ups and downs which we are sometimes not able to understand and do not react appropriately to, so it is important to understand what we can do to help our child develop their emotional skills.

Children also go through feelings and emotions just like an adult, they also feel frustrated, nervous, angry, sad, jealous, worried, frightened and embarrassed but they are not able to express or communicate it, instead, they express it through their facial expressions, behaviours, gestures and sometimes in physical or inappropriate or problematic ways of behaviour.

They learn to express their feelings by observing people around them such as their parents, grandparents, caretakers, and older siblings.

Being a parent you play a very important role in helping them understand, express, and manage their feelings and behaviours.

Here are some of the ways we should apply to help our children learn about and express their feelings:

1. Listen to what they are saying, observe their behaviour and body language by doing this you will be able to tune into their feelings as sometimes it is hard to understand and identify the feelings. Figure out their feelings and help them to express and manage them in a better way they will feel more comfortable and connected by doing this.

2. Do not react to their bad behaviour try to understand the emotions behind it and then help them to manage those emotions rather than punishing them for their behaviour.

3. Once you understand their feelings and emotions name them so that they can talk to you freely about it next time.

4. Explain to them your feelings if you have felt bad due to any of the behaviour explain that to them in a subtle way rather than scolding and shouting at them.

5. Kids learn about feelings and how to express them appropriately by watching others. Show your child how you’re feeling about different situations and how you deal with those feelings.

6. Encourage your child with praising words when they express their feelings and emotions this will help to build trust in them for you and they will talk to you freely about their problems.

7. Listen to your child calmly and resist arguing with them.

Teach your child to act on feelings by:

• Taking some deep breaths

• Asking for help or support

• Taking time out

• Finding a different way to do things

• Taking time to relax before trying again

• Trying to solve the problem with words

• Saying what they feel instead of acting it out

• Talking with a grown-up about what is happening

• Spending time with a loved one or asking for a hug or cuddle

• Describing what they are feeling or reactions in their body

You are the most important person to play a role in your child’s emotional development. Helping your child identify their feelings is the first step in helping them manage their emotions.

The long-term benefits of mental health and well-being are achieved by children who can identify, express and manage their feelings and emotions.

If your child needs some extra support talking about and expressing their feelings, we’re here to help! You can talk to the Beyond Thoughts Child Development counsellor today.

~ Husain Minawala